WTF I'm gone for a week and Jason cranks it up by about seven notches???
I can't compete with that! All I can do now is bow humbly to Jason's greatness...
...and offer yet another sappy one in the same old tone I was pounding out last week:
It's not the taking
that gets me, but
that she wants
to give
it.
Sheesh...how lame I feel now...I've got epic envy.
Ha, thanks for the good cheer, Frank. [img]/emoticons/cool.gif[/img] Never fear, though, I've simply been abusing the system. Do not be impressed with my misuse of the diminuendo form - by definition only 5 lines and dedicated to nature. I was playing around and trying to elaborate upon something by doing an end-around. Hence the mostly silence on this thread since I posted. [img]/emoticons/shakehead.gif[/img]
And I see far more uses for your latest than you seem to give yourself credit for. I mean, there's at least a dozen men's magazines out there that would print that. [img]/emoticons/smilewinkgrin.gif[/img]
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason M. Waltz
Fantasy Acquisitions Editor Staffs & Starships Magazine
~~~~~~~~~~
Ever waltz with the Devil? Visit von Darkmoor's thoughts to find out (and read a review or two).
~~~~~~~~~~
Critical Eye of the Dragon Avatar courtesy of crystalwizard</font>
A soft rain drizzles
on thirsty grass.
Ends the drought.
Brings the
Flood.
Evening breezes brush
past crushed blossoms,
heady scent
fills warm
air.
~ ~ ~
Author, PUSH OF THE SKY
http://camillealexa.com
http://camillealexa.livejournal.com
http://twitter.com/camillealexa
'Contradiction'
Mosquito's bite. Ouch!
Horse fly's bite. Damn!
Gnat's bite. What!
Love's bite.
sigh
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason M. Waltz
Fantasy Acquisitions Editor Staffs & Starships Magazine
~~~~~~~~~~
Ever waltz with the Devil? Visit von Darkmoor's thoughts to find out (and read a review or two).
~~~~~~~~~~
Critical Eye of the Dragon Avatar courtesy of crystalwizard</font>
*falls off chair, laughing*Howard von Darkmoor said...
Gnat's bite. What!
Mosquito's bite. Ouch!
Horse fly's bite. Damn!
Gnat's bite. What!
Love's bite.
sigh
***
Nice one! Don't you want to capitalize 'sigh,' though, Jason? Or should I say e.e.?
LOL
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel
Evening breezes brush
past crushed blossoms,
heady scent
fills warm
air.
***
Pretty. Very nicely done.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel
A soft rain drizzles
on thirsty grass.
Ends the drought.
Brings the
Flood.
***
Great progression of imagery! Wooo!
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel
. Do not be impressed with my misuse of the diminuendo form - by definition only 5 lines and dedicated to nature. I was playing around and trying to elaborate upon something by doing an end-around.
***
The dim. form, proper, is pretty nice for imposing discipline! I think it's only natural to dodge or run away from such constriction in form, but sticking with it and going with it produces some awesome results. It's just a matter of letting the form's intrinsic strengths shine through.
Without any words: just a diminishing progression of syllables, themed on nature, you *already* have expressive meaning. The form itself has meaning. All poetic forms work this way.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel
used this handy little poetic form to program messenger birds in my novel
***
That seems like a good way to use the dim.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel
I considered it, typed it, didn't like it. I wanted to express the softness of the sigh and a capital S seems to take that away, in my opinion.
Daniel said...
Mosquito's bite. Ouch!
Horse fly's bite. Damn!
Gnat's bite. What!
Love's bite.
sigh
***
Nice one! Don't you want to capitalize "sigh," though, Jason? Or should I say e.e.?
LOL
Thanks for the appreciation and noticing the change in inflection though
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason M. Waltz
Fantasy Acquisitions Editor Staffs & Starships Magazine
~~~~~~~~~~
Ever waltz with the Devil? Visit von Darkmoor's thoughts to find out (and read a review or two).
~~~~~~~~~~
Critical Eye of the Dragon Avatar courtesy of crystalwizard</font>
Yes! I'm sorry David, I meant to say I liked this idea also and forgot. Ingenius! [img]/emoticons/yeah.gif[/img]
Daniel said...
used this handy little poetic form to program messenger birds in my novel
***
That seems like a good way to use the dim.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason M. Waltz
Fantasy Acquisitions Editor Staffs & Starships Magazine
~~~~~~~~~~
Ever waltz with the Devil? Visit von Darkmoor's thoughts to find out (and read a review or two).
~~~~~~~~~~
Critical Eye of the Dragon Avatar courtesy of crystalwizard</font>
That's just too coolDavid BH Pitchford said...
He used this handy little poetic form to program messenger birds in my novel.
From my manuscript:
A small red bird shot in from nowhere and lit in Quinn?s open palm. He stared at it a moment, phrasing his message in the correct format.
[b]
We need to meet, Kat
things to work out
much to do
reply
soon</BLOCKQUOTE>
The bird swooped out, a red flash disappearing into nowhere. He gazed at it, a question suddenly forming in his mind.
?Who got the message? The Vermidian, I mean.?
?I took it,? Devyn shrugged. ?Seems no Valliant can understand them. No idea why . . .?
?English,? Quinn smiled knowingly. ?Valliants speak their own language. Didn?t you know??
?Never occurred to me,? Devyn shrugged.
?The Vermidians are programmed to speak English. Special format, too. Something about how their memory works?the messages have to be in some new poetic form Skinner calls diminuato or something. Five, four, three, two, one syllables. He?s a freak for poems, my dad.?
?Pretty clever,? Devyn nodded. ?You have to admit.?
?Yeah,? Quinn shrugged. ?Can?t offer much detail, though.?
?Beats waiting on a falcon to find you,? Devyn shrugged. ?Which is how we got the first two messages. The Vermidian came the same day. We thought maybe there was something big happening, but it seems your younger cousin is about as patient as her sister.?
Incredibly prolific penster
Volcano
Rock explodes, then the
pyroclastic
flow, ash rains,
tremors,
moans.
Black rain, ashen stain
ziploc time-lock
still Pompei
silent
gone
Incredibly prolific penster
Frank said...
Volcano
Rock explodes, then the
pyroclastic
flow, ash rains,
tremors,
moans.
Cool use of one word for the whole line, love 'pyroclastic'
Frank said...
Volcano
Rock explodes, then the
pyroclastic
flow, ash rains,
tremors,
moans.
I was considering playing around with one word lines for a complete diminuato, but nothing's struck my fancy yet.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason M. Waltz
Fantasy Acquisitions Editor Staffs & Starships Magazine
~~~~~~~~~~
Ever waltz with the Devil? Visit von Darkmoor's thoughts to find out (and read a review or two).
~~~~~~~~~~
Critical Eye of the Dragon Avatar courtesy of crystalwizard</font>
[quote]
David BH Pitchford said...
Black rain, ashen stain
ziploc time-lock
still Pompei
silent
gone
love it! not sure I like 'ziploc' - seems without it, the diminuato could have been penned then. still love it tho. I also like the idea ofrhyme within the lines. Imitation being the highest form of flattery . . . [img]/emoticons/smilewinkgrin.gif[/img]
[b]
Black rain, ashen stain
road-block time-lock
fey Pompei
silent
spent</BLOCKQUOTE>
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason M. Waltz
Fantasy Acquisitions Editor Staffs & Starships Magazine
~~~~~~~~~~
Ever waltz with the Devil? Visit von Darkmoor's thoughts to find out (and read a review or two).
~~~~~~~~~~
Critical Eye of the Dragon Avatar courtesy of crystalwizard</font>
You people are unstoppable! I've been running on fumes for a while now but you guys never run out of gas...
Oh, I've got lots of gas, Frank. Wait, that didn't come out right . . .
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason M. Waltz
Fantasy Acquisitions Editor Staffs & Starships Magazine
~~~~~~~~~~
Ever waltz with the Devil? Visit von Darkmoor's thoughts to find out (and read a review or two).
~~~~~~~~~~
Critical Eye of the Dragon Avatar courtesy of crystalwizard</font>
Flatulent writers
Seldom get blocked
Helps them with
fecund
tales
Incredibly prolific penster
Howard von Darkmoor said...
Oh, I've got lots of gas, Frank. Wait, that didn't come out right . . .
you nasty! [img]/emoticons/rofl.gif[/img] [img]/emoticons/smilewinkgrin.gif[/img] [img]/emoticons/lol.gif[/img]
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason M. Waltz
Fantasy Acquisitions Editor Staffs & Starships Magazine
~~~~~~~~~~
Ever waltz with the Devil? Visit von Darkmoor's thoughts to find out (and read a review or two).
~~~~~~~~~~
Critical Eye of the Dragon Avatar courtesy of crystalwizard</font>
All that I am lives,
grows old, and dies
in the curl
of her
lip.
I like that one, Frank.
You done did good.
Yeah, baby,
Oh yeah!
Nice. [img]/emoticons/smilewinkgrin.gif[/img]
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason M. Waltz
Fantasy Acquisitions Editor Staffs & Starships Magazine
~~~~~~~~~~
Ever waltz with the Devil? Visit von Darkmoor's thoughts to find out (and read a review or two).
~~~~~~~~~~
Critical Eye of the Dragon Avatar courtesy of crystalwizard</font>
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