Are you an equal species employer?

[50 Foot Ant]

The Hive and I would like to know...

Is Daverana Enterprises an equal species employer? As you know, as an 50 foot ant I require certain employer accommodations...

I require 12 parking spots.

My culture says I can climb up the side of the building and eat what I find inside.

My religion states that cars are offerings and I'm allowed to rip them open and eat the treats within.

The use of flamethrowers, heavy automatic weaponry, large caliber tank or artillery shells, anti-tank projectiles, and nuclear/chemical weapons is a hate crime when used against my people.

I require a special chair, as I have a bad back from carrying buses back to the Hive.

I need a special keyboard, as my digits are approximately 18' wide and normal keyboards are fragile and not very tasty.

I require a special monitor setup, as my eyes use facets to see.

The use of perfume or cologne in the office can be considered a physical assault due to the sensitive nature of my receptors.

High pitched noises make me angry. So do crappy ringtones. My religion states I can eat people who talk loudly on their cellphones in public.

So can Daverana Enterprises accommodate my reasonable requirements for employment?

IF Wildturkey.obj == TRUE
THEN Happy.obj ++4
fcall getbooze.lib
ELSE Happy.obj -- 2
IF Women.obj == TRUE
Then Happy.obj ++10
ELSE Happy.obj -- 2
fcall getwoman.lib
IF firearm.obj == TRUE
Then Happy.obj ++ 2
ELSE Happy.obj --1
END CODE

[SirOtter]

I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but I sincerely doubt that OSHA would sanction the presence of a large formicidon on any job site. Bringing that much formic acid into the atmosphere of the work setting would pose a serious health risk to your co-workers. Formic acid can severely irritate the eyes and respiratory tracts of your peers, not to mention that it can decompose into carbon monoxide and water should the air conditioning fail, subjecting co-workers to asphyxiation and the physical plant to water damage. No accommodation that exposes other workers to such risks would be deemed reasonable.

[cussedness]

I will have to issue haz-mat suits to all the rest of the employees in special 'Don't eat me' colors and flavors.

Janrae Frank
I have no skeletons in my closet, they are all hanging from the yardarm.

Once there were three brothers, Brandrahoon the vampire, Isranon called the Dawnhand, speaker to spirits, and Waejonan the Accursed, first of sa?necari. Isranon defied his brothers and was destroyed, his descendants forced into the darkness.

Serpent's Quest (Volume one of Lycan Blood)
stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=639663
website
www.janraefrank.com
[url]http://www.daverana.com[/url

[Gbondoni]

But, on the other hand, office parties would be much more entertaining, and the boss would never be tempted to issue any unpopular orders...

[cussedness]

Yikes! As Lizard in Chief of this outfit, I resemble that.