Hollywood ideas equal: Recycle, recycle, recycle

[Jaqhama]

If it wasn't bad enough that they did a remake of True Grit, used the Robert Rostand novel and Sam Peckinpah movie title; The Killer Elite, for a movie that has nothing to do with either of the aforementioned, made a new Conan movie that owes less to Robert E Howrd's stories than the Arnold film, made a new Spiderman movie when the original is still so fresh and true to its comic book roots, made an English language version of the incredibly good Swedish movie, M?n som hatar kvinnor, that's the The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (for those people who can't read sub-titles I guess?)...now we're going to be faced with a remake of Total Recall.

Colin Farrell replaces Arnold S and Kate Beckinsale replaces Sharon Stone.

The new movie will not take place on Mars.
It will have a three breasted mutant prostitute.
It will be more realistic than the original movie; as quoted by Len Wiseman.
(Though how a SF movie featuring a three breasted woman could be called realistic I have no idea.)
It will be a PG13 release at the cinema and an adult release when it comes out on DVD.
Talk about covering all your options.

It will be a load of marsh slime, obviously.
Goes without saying.

No one needs to do a remake of Total Recall. The original movie was what it was was, with who it was in it and any remake is going to be doomed to failure before the final cut is even announced.

I'm a great admirer of Kate Beckinsale's form as she is portrayed in the Underworld movies...and I'm expecting great things from the soon to be released Underworld: Awakening.
But I don't think even Kate, dressed in the slinkiest, tightest, blackest leather outfit in the known universe is going to be able to save a remake of Total Recall.

Hollywood remakes: Terrible one minute, awful the next.

What future and further atrocities are they going to inflict on us?

[John M. Whalen]

Hi Jaq,

Well how about this, for starters? The Lone Ranger begins filming in New Mexico in a couple of weeks. Johnny Depp will play---drumroll please---no not the Ranger, he will play Tonto. This version will focus more on The Masked Man's faithful Indian companion rather than on the title character. What the slant of this film will be is any body's guess. There are hints of Indian mysticism, shamanism, but there's no doubt Depp will do for Native Americans what he did for pirates, and I guess I don't need to elaborate on that. Armie Hammer (who?) will play the Lone Ranger. The studio is saying that it's about time someone told the story from a Native American point of view!!! Oh, yeah? Johnny Depp's a Native American now? Isn't casting a caucasian in the part another slap at Native Americans? Are they forgetting that Tonto in the TV series was played by Jay Silverheels, a real Native American? A friend of mine bets that in a few weeks you'll see a press release saying they found out Depp is one sixteenth Cherokee. This movie makes the Clinton Spillsbury (Who?) Lone Ranger sound like a classic. Back in the fifties there was a damn good Lone Ranger film with Silverheels and the real Lone Ranger, Clayton Moore. It's got a great story and I hope it comes out on BluRay when this new fiasco hits the screens.

[The Griot]

I'm afraid.

[Gbondoni]

Heh. Terrible indeed.

My own antidote to this is watching the 1001 movies you must see before you die, in order. Most of the stuff there is fresh compared to new movies, and there are quite a few genre flicks on the list. Of course, remakes are something that exist since the very first years of cinema.

[Jennifer P]

I need an antidote too.

They're remaking Princess Bride.

Just NO. Don't TOUCH it. Pleeeeeease.